Wow, I’ve been trying to write this post for days. I think it’s been saved in my drafts since July 30th. I’ve been wanting to write about everything that has been going on for days but every time I would sit down and write I’d get interrupted or side tracked.

I hope I didn’t lose all of you in the process!

So, let me give you the run down of the happenings in my life since last week.  It’s been a little bit crazy and a bit of a roller coaster (as usual!!)

Last Monday – went to the doctor.  Got prescribed Buspar.

Tues – took pill #1 – laid around all day working from home so I couldn’t tell if the medicine was affecting me yet (and it was only day one)

Wed – took pill #2 – went to work…felt loopy…almost tripped getting out of my car but I thought I was just tired from lack of sleep.  Felt a little out of it all day at work.  This was the day my co-worker Imac took me for pizza and I had a mini-panic attack.

Thursday – Took pill #3

Thursday night -  I started to do a lot of thinking about my decision at the doctor’s office Monday where I let the doctor convince me to take BuSpar for my treatment (rather than Lexapro which was was what I was going to ask for).  The reason I was going to ask for Lexapro is because I have a few close friends with similar anxiety issues to mine who told me that Lexapro changed their life.

After I left the office, I left it with a twinge of regret that grew each day as I talked to 5 close friends with crippling anxiety who were put on Lexapro (I know…can you believe 5 people close to me feel similar as I do? I find it insane that this is a problem for so many).  The majority told me to get my medicine switched.

I know that different drugs work differently for different people but in my mind I knew I would be unhappy and doubting everything unless I went with my first instinct which was to START with Lexapro and see if it was right for me.  If it wasn’t then I would try something else.  What could that hurt?  At least my mind would be at ease knowing this had worked for so many others who literally said the words “Lexapro changed my life.”

When you hear multiple people say that to you – your mind says “girl! get yourself on that!.”  So, that’s what I did.  I called first thing Friday morning and told the doctors office that I was very unhappy with how the BuSpar was making me feel and that I wanted the Lexapro.  They reviewed it with the doctor that was in that day and they called in a 30 days supply for me to the pharmacy.

When I got the medicine at the pharmacy that day I felt a wave of relief wash over me that I had never felt earlier when I picked up the BuSpar prescription.  So, I knew that, if anything, this has eased my mind considerably and that’s what I needed.

The new medicine’s only side effects so far are exhaustion.  I was so tired and a little out of it on the first day I took it (Saturday morning) but that was probably because I hardly slept the night before.  Then Sunday I took the 2nd pill and felt okay in the day but by Sunday night I had yawned so many times my mouth began to hurt and I was out for the night for my friends birthday.  The exhaustion carried over into Monday when I went to work.  I literally could have slept under my desk (like George Costanza on Seinfeld) if my work allowed naps.   I also didn’t feel the greatest in my stomach so I ate a nice plain lunch of grilled chicken with rice which made me feel a lot better.

I made it through the day and felt okay enough to take my friend out for her birthday Monday night.  That brings me to today.  I woke up so tired and not feeling that great in my stomach that I decided it would be best to work from home.  At first I was going to go in late but I pressed snooze so many times that it was no use getting ready and driving all the way to work that late in the day.  I got more done staying home working in my pajamas and I was much happier home (of course).

Hopefully, tomorrow (day 5), I will wake up feeling much better then I did today.  It’s very hard for me to go work when I don’t 100% because it makes me anxious (what else is new).

I think I will be alright.  As the New Kids on the Block used to sing… “I’m hanging tough” through this period of adjustment and I think I will be better then new!